Uninvited Guests
by silverfae
Summary: Ukyo and Shampoo finally get tired of Ranma's lack of response to their pursuit. They hatch a plan to confirm his true feelings.. however, the means could do more harm than good!
1. Chapter 1

Greetings! Ihavecometotakeovertheworldmuahaharesistanceisfutile.

...Oops. Wrong script, sorry. -blinks innocently-

This is my first foray into the Ranma fanfiction universe, since I've only quite recently got acquainted with the (Japanese, English-subbed) anime series and fell in love with it.. Heh. I haven't watched the entire series, though, just the middle-ish part, but I have decided that heck, if I'm wrong or mistaken about anything, I'll count on someone to correct me. - That means you! Yes, you. Actually, no, it's _you_. -points randomly-

I've been thinking about acquiring the manga, but I haven't started looking for it yet, so never mind about that yet. Therefore, the fic will be based mostly on the anime series..

Anyways, let us begin without any more further ado!

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or it's associated characters and storyline. I'm just borrowing it for a while. It would be nice if you refrained from suing me. I'm innocent! Really! However, I take no responsibility to whatever may happen to the characters in my ficcie... -cackles and runs off-

Syntax:

"..." Talking, duh.

'...' Thinking

Note: When in girl form, Ranma will be referred to as a female, yadda yadda...

----------------------------------------

Uninvited Guests: Chapter 1

----------------------------------------

The door slid open smoothly, then closed with a decisive snick. Ukyo called a quick "welcome" in response to the familiar noise without looking up, her hands and spatulas flashing as she went through the habitual motions of preparing okonomiyaki. Serving it up to her most recent customer with a flourish, she turned to the newcomer. "May I help-"

"Yes. Spatula-girl help Shampoo." The face of the Chinese Amazon glowered back at her.

"What for?" Ukyo asked suspiciously, brought up short in the middle of assuming an instinctive battle pose, which attracted several nervous glances and startled a few of the newer patrons. It was highly unlikely that the proud Amazon would turn to her for help, not when the old ghoul was with her.

"Great-Grandma think Shampoo take too long to win airen," the blue-haired girl stated. Her eyes narrowed, and then her features suddenly softened and took on an uncharacteristically weary cast. "Shampoo tired too. Shampoo want to know for sure if airen has any interest."

"Hmm, I think I know what you mean," Ukyo replied, letting loose a small sigh and relaxing her guard minutely. "Not like we can do much about it, though." Come to think of it, she'd been chasing (harassing, rather, she thought wryly) Ran-chan for a long time; she couldn't even remember a time when she hadn't been doing so, only that it was too long a time ago... And Ran-chan hadn't even given in a notch. Her spatulas tapped the countertop rhythmically as she pondered. It wasn't like the Amazon to come all the way here to have some, rivalries aside, girl-to-girl talk, though...

"Great-Grandma found ancient potion recipe. Truth potion. Mind potion." Shampoo struggled to express herself. Damn her bad Japanese! "Connects minds." She looked hopefully at Ukyo's face for a smidgen of understanding, only to be disappointed. She tried again. "Connect minds, nothing hidden. Only true thoughts. True feelings."

"I see," Ukyo mused. So this was the reason. Shampoo's ancestor sure was resourceful. "So what?" She added moments later, brow creased into a slight frown. Eavesdropping on other people's thoughts was a strange, yet potentially interesting notion.

"We take, airen take, we find out who airen loves," Shampoo nodded emphatically. It was ironic how she could call Ranma airen and still not be his. She sighed inwardly. It had become mostly habit now. Her expression turned thoughtful. "Make sure take the right amount though. Too much, link becomes two-way. Great-Grandma warns."

"Not like we don't know who Ran-chan fancies," Ukyo retorted. "Isn't that the point of us, and Kodachi, stalking Ran-chan and being a general health hazard? So that we can somehow force him away from Akane?"

"Shampoo tired of playing game," the other girl snapped back, and she was. "Point of this is to prove airen's real love. If not," Shampoo paused at this, and a slightly pained look appeared on her face, "Great-Grandma says, Shampoo no choice but perform Kiss of Life, accept Mousse's proposal and go back to China."

"Anyway," she resumed, shifting position and leaning on the counter. "Shampoo need spatula-girl's help to give potion. Airen no trust Shampoo's food or presents." She mock-pouted.

"I wonder why?" Ukyo deadpanned. Shampoo had the grace to blush. "So you're telling me that I'm to mix this potion thing into my okonomiyaki and give it to him?"

"Of course."

"I have personal and business ethics concerning this, you know," Ukyo responded sharply, slightly startled at her own vehemence. "I don't want Ran-chan, and Akane by default, to mistrust me. Plus it goes against the grain of being a professional chef."

"Potion say, is hard to tell unless link is two way. We aim for one-way," Shampoo said reassuringly. "Shampoo take blame otherwise." was added as an afterthought.

"Comforting." Ukyo replied dryly, responding to an order by spreading batter onto the hot grill and adding the ingredients deftly. She ignored the girl and contemplated the situation and Shampoo's proposition while she served the customer, then turned back to her. "But sure, I'm game."

"Good," Shampoo enthused, signs of life returning to her stiff, waiting pose. "Bring potion tomorrow, Great-Grandma mixing today." Standing up turning to go, she halted, and then spun back to face Ukyo. "Shake?" she offered tentatively, extending one hand as if it was headed towards a possibly fatally venomous snake.

She was surprised by Ukyo's quick response and firm handshake. "Truce," the chef's eyes twinkled with amusement. "I'll bind you to your word, then." Shampoo nodded mutely. "One less health hazard to look out for." The Chinese girl smiled back with sudden agreement. It was an interesting feeling, this making of friends with once-enemies...

They were abruptly aware of the incredulous stares the regular patrons were giving them. "What?" Ukyo spoke into the sudden silence, a steely glint in her eye. "Food not good enough for you?"

Conversation resumed rather hastily.

"Are you gonna buy anything?" she grumped irritably at Shampoo as they released each other's hand. "Or did you just come in to sit and jabber?"

Shampoo paused and investigated the contents of her purse. "One shrimp and one special, take-away," she decided, triggering an instant reaction in Ukyo. "Great-Grandma like shrimp."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some distance away, one Saotome Ranma sneezed. Several times.

"Are you coming down with something?" Akane inquired, pausing in the middle of her kata and tilting her head sideways to look at Ranma.

'The tomboy's cute when she does that,' he mused almost absentmindedly. "Nah, nothing to worry about," he replied airily, a finger rubbing at his nose. "A strong, healthy martial artist like me rarely comes down with anything."

"Well, sorry I asked!" his fiancée snapped back irritably, completing the kata swiftly and proceeding with a set of stretches in a taut manner.

Ranma, in a rare, perceptive mood, noticed the stiffness in Akane and crouched down next to her. "Hey, loosen up, stretches aren't supposed to be like that. You'll hurt yourself if you keep that up." Unthinkingly, he ran one hand down her back, correcting her posture. Akane reacted instantly to the contact, her annoyance flaring into anger, and quite without reason, Ranma thought a fleeting instant later.

"Pervert!" she growled, releasing her mallet to the mallet plane and surveying her handiwork: one fiancé, flattened in one newly formed hole in the floor of one dojo. The door slammed shut behind her as she stormed out.

Ranma groaned and examined himself for injuries, plucking out the splinters expertly. Wooden floors were not fun things to be embedded into. "She's way too sensitive, that tomboy," he muttered to the empty air of the dojo, wincing as he found a sore spot. "Man, that hurts."

"Itaii..." he complained to the door as he gingerly lowered himself into the steaming hot water in the bathtub. Ranma had found out quite early on that there was nothing like a hot bath to soothe the bruises caused by Akane's quick temper. Settling into a comfortable position, he closed his eyes and sighed in relief. The aches were fading already.

"Akane's good for endurance training, really," the pig-tailed martial artist told his submerged toes, his words partially bubbling out as he sank deeper into the water. 'I should really stop talking to inanimate objects,' he reflected as he soaked. 'Or myself, for that matter. Heh.'

He was just beginning to relax when a soft thump and a short series of scrabbling sounds coming from the window above captured his attention. Ranma twitched as his mind jumped to the most obvious conclusion – cat. A clicking noise, however, snapped him out of his state of semi-panic. Cats didn't click. Something else, on the other hand..

Ranma reached up on an impulse, unlatching and yanking the window open in one deft motion. A squealing black bundle tumbled from its precarious perch and into the tub.

There was a noticeable lack of space in the bathtub, all of a sudden.

"Uh, hey, Ryoga." Ranma smirked slightly. "Hoping to see Akane, eh?"

"I–" cough! "-wouldn't do such-"splutter!"-a thing!" The young-man-who-was-a-black-piglet-some-moments-before retorted indignantly as he surfaced, coughing up water violently, though his faint flush said clearly that the thought had indeed crossed his mind.

"Sleeping with her is alright, though?"

"......"

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "But yeah, okay, whatever. Mind getting off my lap?"

Ryoga seemed to have teleported out of the tub, he moved so fast.

"Unless you have something on you other than that yellow headband, I suggest that you go out as P-chan." Ranma noted with a sigh. "And preferably out the window, since Akane probably think I brought you in here to torture you or something. And no way are you going out as Ryoga." he added. "For obvious reasons."

"Yeah, okay, whatever." Ryoga mocked. "My stuff are somewhere in the vicinity.. That old washerwoman character struck again. Watering your neighbour's roses or something, couldn't tell 'cuz she got me as soon as I passed." He grumbled as he looked around for cold water.

"Knowing you, looking for your stuff will get you lost all over again, huh. Grab a cup and fill it up at the tap."

"I'm not that thick, ya know," Ryoga turned around to look for the sink and neatly slammed his hip into it. His yelp of pain echoed around the bathroom.

"Keep it down!" Ranma hissed. Kasumi's faint call of inquiry floated down the corridor. "I'm all right!" he yelled back. "Which is true." He regarded P-chan doubtfully as the piglet rolled about the floor, bwee-ing in what seemed to be excruciating agony. The cup spun slowly on its side nearby, almost appearing to mock the poor piglet's plight.

A rapid rhythm of footsteps skidded to a halt outside in the hall, and suddenly the barrier of the door was not there any more. Ranma clapped his hands to his ears as a ringing slam reverberated through the relatively small room.

"P-chan!" Akane hurried in and cradled her pet to herself soothingly, oblivious to her fiancé, who sank into the water until only everything above his mouth was visible. He had to breathe, after all. "Are you alright, P-chan?" She turned and glared at the only other person in the room, and thus the only possible culprit. "What were you doing to P-chan?"

He gulped audibly under her angry stare, not quite a wise move; he swallowed a mouthful of bathwater. Akane continued glowering as he coughed and spluttered up the somewhat odd-tasting water. "I wasn't doing anything!" he was finally able to protest. "I was taking a bath when Mister P decided to pay me a visit!" Ranma pointed accusingly at the open window.

"Right," she snorted. "The window just happened to be open, huh?"

"I swear I didn't do anything!" Then, in an undertone, "Get me out of this, Mister P, and I'll get your stuff back."

"What did you say?" Akane shot him a suspicious look.

"Nothing! Ask your precious P-chan if I did anything to him!"

She looked to the black, slightly wet bundle of fur in her arms, which was shaking its head vigorously. "Fine," she huffed.

"By the way.. Do you actually respect my privacy?" Ranma tilted his head towards the door and grinned.

"Nope." Akane half-grinned, half-smirked back.

"Does that mean I have to respect yours, then?" Ranma teased. P-chan squealed with outrage.

"Pervert!" she growled without much feeling and stalked off, slamming the door closed behind her.

"Is that a yes or a no?" Ranma wondered aloud to the silent, long-suffering door.

----------------------------------------

Whee. Hope you enjoyed it, that's all for now! Please review.. Reviews are my motivation to write. Constructive criticism is welcome, and will definitely be heeded. I promise substantial quantities of potentially embarrassing and hopefully funny scenes in the future. I wish I didn't suck at titles so much. -laughs- Till next time we meet, ja ne!


	2. Chapter 2: Of Sparkly Bits and Water Bom...

Konnichiwa minna-san! Welcome to the second chapter of Uninvited Guests, apologies that it took such a long time in coming. I shan't ramble on, I'm sure many find it irritating if all you came for was the story, not my aimless chatter. HOWEVER! I have had this habit for a long time, and I don't mind it enough to correct it. -smirk- Therefore:

Feel free to skip anything above the proclamation of the chapter title (or lack thereof)!

Yay. Now I'm sure all of you can sleep better tonight. ) By the by, I've decided to make the title a combination of various random things that appear in that chapter, and thus it might not make much sense, eheheh. Moving on...

Thanks for all the beautiful reviews... They make me feel warm and fluffly inside (not to mention boosting my authorego, cough). I'll endeavor to be worthy of your time and encouragement!

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and all it's associated thingies belong to Nintendo. Um wait, I mean Clamp. Waaaait. Natsume? Tecmo? Darn, these disclaimers are messing with my head.

"..." ïƒŸ(deep thought)

insert standard disclaimer

That'll work. And kudos to those who can guess my anime/game references! ;) Now on to the more important parts!

Syntax: Same as the previous chapter, surely you can't have forgotten it already? Bah, just press back or something, m'kay?

----------------------------------------

Chapter 2: Of Sparkly Bits and Water Bombs

----------------------------------------

Ukyo had decided to take the next day off, even if it was a Saturday and probably one of the days of the week she earned the most. She had her doubts about the whole potion thing, and she didn't want to risk any accidental contamination... From what she'd heard, the potions concocted by Cologne were potent. Who knows what sort of havoc it could wreck if it got somewhere it wasn't supposed to be? It caused enough being where it was supposed to be in the first place...

So she busied herself in the morning with a thorough cleaning of the shop. By the time Shampoo arrived with the potion at about noon, she had the entire place spick and span, and was sitting behind the counter idly stirring the small batch of okonomiyaki batter she had prepared specially for The Plan.

The hollow knock startled Ukyo from her doze, and she hurried to the door, sliding it open to let in Shampoo and Cologne, the latter perched rather precariously on her gnarled walking stick.

"Nihao!" The violet-haired girl greeted cheerfully, stepping into the restaurant, the elder nodding a greeting towards Ukyo and clacking in behind. The okonomiyaki chef had some idea that Shampoo's grandmother did not like having to look up to someone to speak... She stifled a chuckle at the thought, which earned her a suspicious glance from the passing elder. She closed the door behind them and reclaimed her place at the countertop, facing the other two who had settled themselves on the customer side.

Sneaking a surreptitious glance at the clock, Ukyo added her own words of greeting and extended her welcome to her guests. Cologne cast a professional eye about her surroundings, nodding with approval. "You keep the place neat and clean. That's good," she acknowledged.

The proprietress bridled slightly at what she perceived as an implied criticism, but nodded back, albeit a bit stiffly. She caught the faint smile on Shampoo's face and deduced that it was indeed a compliment. "Thank you," she added, belatedly, lest she risk offending Shampoo's formidable ancestor.

The elder hrmphed indistinctly, then produced a small crystal vial filled with a clear liquid from somewhere in her sleeves. The ambient light sparkled off the crystal facets as she carefully set it on the table, away from the edge.

"There's so little," Ukyo said with some surprise, eyeing the approximately thumb-sized vial.

"Strong stuff," Shampoo explained, having read about the potion herself beforehand. "Not need much."

"Batter," Cologne gestured authoritatively, and the chef obeyed, putting the prepared batter on the counter. The diminutive old woman propped up her staff and hopped onto the table, picking up the vial and taking out the small crystal stopper. Stirring thoughtfully for a moment, she trickled into the batter about three-quarters of the clear liquid, which glittered unnaturally as it fell.

Both Ukyo and Shampoo watched in fascination, and the former was startled as the elder pushed the container to her. "Mix it well," she commanded, hopping down onto the seat.

The chef was somewhat resentful at how the old ghoul was treating her, but hey, she was the one who knew more about what they were doing then she did. At least, she hoped so. So she began to whisk the batter expertly, eyeing the sparkly bits as they dissipated into the innocent-looking concoction.

The elder Chinese-Amazon peered intently at the mixture, letting Ukyo beat it for a few minutes before pronouncing her satisfaction. "Good, it should be done... Now prepare it as you would normal okonomiyaki. Two regular and two deluxe should finish up all the batter and give us a safe margin for the plan to work within."

"Hai...Keep your hands off the counter, now," she warned, switching the grill on and twirling her spatulas out from the pockets she kept them in. Within minutes, she had the 'order' steaming and done to perfection, except for the odd sparkly bit here and there.

"What's with the shiny stuff?" Ukyo wanted to know. Shampoo was inspecting one of the okonomiyaki closely, and wondering the same. She'd looked through the scrolls the night before, but she must have skimmed right over this part, for she didn't remember reading about it at all.

"It's a temporary effect of the potion. It'll disappear soon enough. Now, I want both of you to eat one of the regular ones, then Ukyo, you'll send the two deluxe ones to my son-in-l- I mean, Ranma." Cologne corrected herself wryly. 'I must stop being so overbearing on the poor kid...'

Both girls complied with her instructions after observing that the glittery bits had disappeared, and Ukyo was gratified to taste that the potion did nothing to alter the flavour. She was sure that if there were any difference at all, Ran-chan would definitely detect it. After all, he ate okonomiyaki frequently enough...

"Airen wouldn't taste it even if it were different," Shampoo disagreed. "Airen not taste much, just eat. Know from experience." The other two females looked at her questioningly, Ukyo's expression tinged with surprise, for neither had said anything out loud. The violet-haired girl looked confused for a moment, then gasped as the significance registered.

The chef's eyebrows rose as she too, digested the meaning of it. "Oh damn, I didn't think that we would have any kind of connection... And yeah, you're probably right about the taste thing, Shampoo." Ukyo recalled the times when Ranma simply bolted down the food she had so lovingly prepared, then pulled her mind back to the current situation.

"This is an example of your skill," Cologne stated, looking as astonished as the other two girls. "You wouldn't have had a two-way connection. Not unless you ingested nearly the exact same amount of potion. All I expected was both of you to have glimpses of each other's strong emotions, but this is surprising."

"This situation interesting. Shampoo didn't think there would be link with Ukyo..." the Chinese Amazon bit her lip, clearly at a loss. "Unexpected."

"No kidding. Well, now my customers can't complain about unfairness, ne?" Ukyo smirked, though inwardly she felt the same as Shampoo; surprised, not a little confused, and rather shocked at the new development. "Now that we know that it works, let's deliver the other part before it gets cold." Deftly flipping the two remaining pancakes into a takeaway box, she folded the box then wrapped it to give herself an easy handhold. "Is there a way out of this?"

Cologne pondered. "Hai," she replied slowly. "The potion's effects will wear off by itself, but there is another counter-potion that would speed things up. However, it takes time to prepare, and to research... I didn't think that such a thing would happen."

"I'm sure we'll have plenty of time," and there was a subtle warning note in Ukyo's voice that spoke volumes about her uneasiness about the link. Her fingers tapped an edgy rhythm on the warming box.

Shampoo's perception of the other girl's opinion was made more acute by the fact that she could faintly 'hear' the accompanying thoughts, and their feelings were mutual on the matter. 'Thoughts should be one's own, and private', was suddenly her general view, and she tried not to think too much. She sure didn't want to reveal much of anything to the once enemy, now tentative-friend spatula-girl. Ah, no, she must call her Ukyo now. The Chinese-Amazon slanted a troubled look at the girl in question as she mulled the situation over. She wasn't too comfortable with the once innocuous-seeming plan of 'violating' airen's mind now...

Ukyo involuntarily caught onto Shampoo's train of thought, locking a startled glance to the other's disturbed one. So, the usually devious girl did have morals after all! And for once, she would openly say that she saw eye to eye with her on the matter. The russet-haired chef was beginning to have second thoughts as well.

"...So?" The little old woman arched her brows expressively, correctly interpreting that there was something going on in the sudden silence and exchange of looks. The issue with Ranma was something she simply could not tolerate for much longer, and she could not stand seeing her descendant's efforts go to waste. Mousse was starting to look a perfectly fine, if...slightly flawed young man.

"How long does this take to wear off, again?" Ukyo inquired quickly, breaking her gaze and transferring it to the elder woman. "And how long would it take to brew the counter-potion and for it to work?"

"I believe it would take a month to wear off," Shampoo interjected, as her great-grandmother tried to recall the exact phase.

"Yes, yes, and about half the time with the counter-potion, given that I get lucky in locating the ingredients and finding the auspicious time to prepare it," Cologne offered, frowning imperceptibly at Shampoo for what she perceived as a slight to her memory. She would let it slide this time for it undoubtedly sped up the proceedings.

"I'm sure I can live with this for two weeks," Ukyo said with some semblance of relief, detecting a similar response in Shampoo. "Not that he's supposed to know about it, right?" she added, and was slightly comforted by Cologne's curt nod. "Better be off then. Okonomiyaki's cooling while we talk." She made her way to the door with her guests on her heels.

"We need to meet up once again, today," declared the elder as she hopped outside. "To see if the plan works."

"I'm taking the day off, so I guess about evening?" the chef suggested absently, locking the door behind them. She had discovered that she could dim Shampoo's thoughts to a dull murmur, instead of the constant flow of a few minutes before, and the other girl was discovering the same thing.

"Come over to the Neko-hanten then," Cologne replied, lost in thought as well. "I need to be there because all the equipment I need should be with me."

Ukyo nodded agreement. "Got to go now, before it gets entirely cold," she jested as they slowly parted ways. "Ja ne."

"Zai jian."

---------------

"Gaah. Damn that Ryoga." Ranma muttered in some disgust as she climbed in the back way hauling the aforementioned young man's belongings. "Next door? I'll give the little swine next door! It was across the street!"

She was not in a good mood. Having carefully checked both immediate neighbours' properties, finding nothing and getting mauled by one of the dreaded feline species while he had been at it, he had wandered dazedly down their side of the road peering into people's front gates. Unfortunately, one of the children playing in the street had thought it funny to throw a water balloon at him, with predictable results. His transformation caught the interest of the local children water bomb group, who trailed her and pelted her with water bombs in the hopes that she would transform again.

So in the end, a drenched, irate female reached the main part of town, where she finally lost the evil water bomb group, charmed some food from an unwitting food vendor, and decided to return by way of the opposite street, hoping to still keep his promise to Ryoga.

She found his stuff outside the adjacent building to the Tendo dojo on that opposite side. He WOULD have noticed it had that feline thing not chased him.

A scratched, squelchy, (if sated) female Ranma is not a very happy Ranma.

Dragging the (really heavy!) stuff to a corner of the back yard, she lay down in a patch of sunlight in an attempt to dry her still-damp clothes. She had a few moments of peace until something blocked the sunlight. She opened her eyes to see Akane's face hovering over her.

"Hi," was Akane's cheerful greeting as she sat down next to Ranma, cuddling P-chan, who was eyeing his belongings keenly.

"Yo," Ranma returned tiredly, shooting a dagger-laced glare at the black piglet. If looks could kill...

"Is Ryoga-kun around?" Akane tilted a glance at the familiar backpack.

"So-omewhere."

"You mean you left him alone?!" Akane's incredulous tone made Ranma sit up and break eye contact.

"Uh... yeah. Why?"

The blue-haired Tendo sighed in disbelief. "Why? Maybe because he'll probably be lost by now?"

P-chan bristled with affront, which nearly made Ranma burst out laughing, but she contained it in time. "True, but he'll live," she managed to say, shoulders shaking with the effort to contain her laughter.

Fortunately, Akane was too busy trying to restrain P-chan to notice Ranma's sudden mirth. The piglet was squealing and squirming, and finally she lost her grip. The piglet shot across the yard to his pack in a blur, then made off with what seemed like a tangle of clothes, streaking around the house to the exit.

'Way too obvious.' Ranma observed to herself, lying back down. 'He shouldn't try so hard to blow his cover...'

"What's wrong with P-chan?" Akane mused with some confusion, picking some black hairs off her skirt.

"Maybe nature called," the other girl suggested with a snigger.

"Maaaybe..." came the skeptical reply. "Guess he'll come back when he feels like it."

"No doubt about it," Ranma mumbled, and then sat up before Akane begin her heated retort. "I'm hungry."

"Now that you mention it, I found this really nice recipe in that cookbook you gave me," Akane said excitedly, promptly forgetting about the issue at hand and getting to her feet. "It's not too hard, I think I might be able to pull it off..."

"Ah, um, it's okay, don't trouble yourself," Ranma replied hastily, an odd look that seemed to be composed mostly of terror passing over her face. Did she ever regret mentioning that she was hungry! "I'll just have some leftovers or something."

"It's no trouble!" Akane said brightly, dusting off her skirt and starting off happily for the kitchen. "I've been wanting to try it out for ages!"

A faint blue tinge was taking over her fiancé's face now. "Ah... Akane," Ranma croaked weakly, then gave it up for a lost cause and followed the cheerful girl into the kitchen with a look on her face that was akin to someone who was walking to the gallows and thus, a horrible death.

---------------

The fugitive pet was busy trying to find a way to get out whilst the immense (to his present state) gates were closed. He raced back and forth, gripping a set of clothes in his teeth and trailing it behind him, getting all sorts of dirt on them but not seeming to care.

Suddenly, the gates resounded with a short knock and creaked open. P-chan took advantage of the apparent blessing, frantic to change back to human form somewhere safe and return to his beloved Akane-san, and so streaked through the widening gap.

"Whoa, whoa, hold it right there," Ukyo raised her eyebrows in surprise as the black piglet ran headlong into her legs and rolled backwards dazedly. Her free hand deftly scooped up the dark bundle and its burden of clothes. "What have we here?"

Recovering swiftly, P-chan let out a muffled squeal and tried to struggle out of her arms. The okonomiyaki chef noted the familiar clothes and made an effort to remember where she had seen them, but Shampoo's lingering presence at the back of her head beat her to the chase. The clear image of a certain black-haired, fanged individual rose from the depths of her mind: Ryoga!

"Why, hey there, Ryoga-kun," Ukyo said pleasantly. The piglet went still and eyed his captor warily. "If you wait here for a bit, I'm sure I could be of help to you," the girl offered, setting him down on the street. "Like... hot water, maybe?" Subtle hints, from either her own mind or Shampoo's, suggested that Ryoga might be of use to them with their plan, prompting her to offer help.

The piglet studied her for a moment, then plonked himself resignedly on the ground. Obviously if he tried something he would get desperately lost, so why not accept the help that came his way? The thought ran through his mind. He might not like it, but he'd rather let his pride get bruised this round than find himself halfway across China.

"Guess that's a yes," Ukyo murmured, glancing up at Kasumi's faint inquiry from the inside. "I'll be right back." She strode on into the house.

"Konnichiwa, Ukyo-chan," Kasumi smiled and bowed in formal welcome as she recognized the chef. "Who are you here to see?"

"Konnichiwa, Kasumi-san," Ukyo returned, bowing back. "Is Ran-chan in?"

"I believe he's around the back..." The eldest Tendo daughter tilted her head inquiringly, as if asking what she wanted with Ranma.

"I'm just delivering some okonomiyaki," Ukyo smiled, holding out the thankfully still-warm package. "It's for Ran-chan, on the house, of course. Would you mind passing it to him?"

"Oh! Of course," Kasumi beamed. "I thank you for your kindness on behalf of Ranma."

"The pleasure's all mine," Ukyo replied, waving off the thanks rather guiltily. "I'm afraid I have to leave now, I have some urgent matters to take care of..." With that, she bowed once more, turned, and left rapidly. For once, she didn't want to see Ran-chan; her common sense urged her to leave the scene as fast as possible, as inane as it might seem.

Once outside, she picked up the impatient P-chan, rearranged his clothes around him into a sort of carrier and set off for her restaurant. On the way, she felt obliged to explain quietly what was going on, but attracted several curious stares for her efforts, after which she decided that explaining could wait until they were in safer pastures. Meanwhile, she silently alerted Shampoo to the fact that she had made her delivery, and they both waited expectantly for the presence of Ranma's mind and practiced blocking the other party's thoughts.

---------------

Ranma, after a quick dash of warm water, was dully watching Akane whirl about the kitchen with a sense of impending doom. He had checked surreptitiously for the presence of any other food but it seemed as if the world was working against him this time; the kitchen was clear of any snacks, and he probably had the old man to thank for that.

Even as he watched, he wondered what Akane wanted to do with vinegar, soy sauce, and sugar. Surely the two didn't belong together, yet it was in the pile of ingredients and kitchen implements she had collected on the counter. He would have tried to sneak off as he usually did, but she had brandished one of the aforementioned implements at him, and a rather sharp-looking specimen at that. Wisely, he'd subsided at the threat and her warning glare.

At the moment, Ranma was pondering if he would prefer a quick bloody death or a prolonged, choking one.

Just as he was about to risk his life escaping from the kitchen, Kasumi walked in with a familiar box in her hands. Ranma nearly danced in relief as he recognized it. Salvation had arrived!

"Ranma, Ukyo-chan dropped by just now," Kasumi began, placing the box on the kitchen table.

"Kasumi-oneechan!" Akane spun around at her sister's voice and lost her grip on the bag of flour in her hands, which, in accordance to the laws of nature, dropped to the floor. A miniature mushroom cloud of white blossomed from the bag, coating everything within reach in a thin, snowy layer of flour. "Oops."

"Oh my," Kasumi's hands flew to her mouth at the resulting mess. She paused only briefly before briskly redirecting the okonomiyaki box into Ranma's willing hands and pointing at the living room. "Now then, Akane, leave the mess to me and go wash up," and she glanced meaningfully at the layer of flour that covered most of Akane's legs from the knees down.

"Gomen nasai," Akane mumbled, flushing contritely. Carefully, she made her way to the back door, targeting the handy tap in the backyard and leaving behind a faint white trail.

After observing the his fiancée's tentative retreat, Ranma also fled the kitchen, relieved beyond words that Akane's latest disaster-to-be had been stopped in its tracks. Not that he wanted to criticize her or discourage her um... valiant efforts, but even if she had memorized the recipe beforehand (something which she usually did), something was bound to go wrong in the making. She simply had a knack for picking up the salt when she wanted the sugar, or not being deft enough to keep the eggshells out of her various confections, and a variety of kitchen mistakes which hindered her obvious passion for cooking.

Sure enough, she had been taking lessons from Kasumi recently, which had surprisingly improved her cooking by a bit. Ranma no longer had to take a week off school after sampling her creations. He grinned to himself as he settled at the living room table and opened the warm box of okonomiyaki. Ukyo was a lifesaver, he decided, as he contemplated the contents of the box. Now that he thought about it, it was strange that she hadn't taken advantage of the excuse her deliveries provided her to cling to him in front of Akane and stuff, as she usually did. Not that it wasn't a good thing, though. Ranma shrugged and dug in. Who knew what went on in the minds of women?

By the time Akane had finished washing up, he had devoured most of the first Japanese pancake. She made her way over to him and settled down with a rustle of skirts, which Ranma ignored in favour of finishing his food.

"Too bad I couldn't make what I wanted to," Akane broke the silence with a mournful statement. Her eyes strayed to and stayed on the remaining pancake. "I see that my efforts went to waste, however." This time, her tone was sharper and more like her usual self, and her brown eyes pinned Ranma's oblivious profile with a determined stare.

He popped the last bit of the first piece into his mouth and was about to start on the second when he detected Akane's stare. "What?" he asked irritably, meeting her gaze by turning his head slightly towards her.

She broke the eye contact first and sighed. "Nothing," she retorted, and was interrupted by a quiet, but very noticeable complaint from the region of her stomach. Her cheeks warmed in embarrassment.

"Are you sure about that?" Ranma teased, having clearly heard the rumble.

"Yeah, well, I'm hungry," Akane admitted, looking disgruntled and still faintly red. "And there doesn't seem to be anything edible in the kitchen, either."

"You've probably got Pops to blame for that." His eyes darted instinctively to the area where both their fathers usually sat, playing shogi, but nothing met his gaze but the lone shogi board with its pieces arranged meticulously in their starting positions. "Where're they?"

"Oh, Kasumi-oneechan sent them out for groceries early this morning," she shrugged. Groceries were most likely one of the last things on their minds, at least until dinnertime neared. "We ran out of most of our food, so the rest went to have lunch in town. I was planning to go when you came back from wherever you were."

An unmistakable growl filled the ensuing silence, testimony to her claim. Akane's fading blush deepened, and she looked away, her eyes involuntarily straying to the okonomiyaki box.

Ranma tilted his head at her, the beginnings of an idea forming. Since he wasn't that hungry (wonder of wonders) due to the earlier snack in his female form, he might be able to get something out of this...

"What?" Akane asked sharply, noticing his faint smirk. He was definitely up to something.

"Do you want it?" Grinning openly now, he jerked his head downwards to indicate the remaining pancake.

"I... wouldn't mind," she answered a bit too quickly, her questioning glance eager but suspicious, and with good reason. "There's a catch, isn't there?"

"Of course," Ranma replied cheerfully, a teasing glint in his eye. "You can't expect me to give something like this away for free, do you? Especially when you know it's one of my favourites."

"You certainly can't wait to give away my lunches," Akane shot back. "Ukyo's is different, huh?"

"Aw, c'mon, Akane," he wheedled. "You gotta admit, there is a difference."

"What are you trying to imply, Ranma?" she demanded, fiery sparks dancing in her eyes. A mallet suddenly appeared in her hands.

"Nothing, nothing," Ranma held his hands up defensively, not liking the track the conversation was taking. He eyed the mallet warily and decided that the discussion needed some redirection. "Look, I'll give you this if you help me with my homework, okay?"

Akane's anger was quenched rather effectively, and her mallet disappeared right before his eyes. He briefly wondered, once again, how she did that. "Oh, you. I should have guessed," she sighed. "All...all right, then." Her stomach noisily protested the delay. She coughed meaningfully.

"Here," Ranma grinned with triumph, pushing the box over to her. "Don't you forget your promise!"

"Mmrph," she mumbled eloquently, her mouth already occupied with her belated lunch. She swallowed. "Tonight, after dinner, usual place. I'm guessing you haven't started with your weekend work at all?" she said shrewdly.

"Whatcha think?" he countered unrepentantly. "I'm a busy man."

His only reply was a snort.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

------

Zai jian – goodbye / see you later in Chinese.

Being Chinese myself, expect a few phrases now and then... whee.

------

This is about the longest chapter I've ever written, yay! Nothing much is happening, I know, but hey. I enjoy writing dialogue. -grin- Hope you liked reading it! The next chapter should hold more action, I assure you... If nothing comes up while I'm writing. Eheh. The story is pretty much fluid at the moment; that is, whatever I think of while I'm writing, I write. My usual style, and one that I find quite fun, if time-consuming. ;)

Updates may be infrequent, sorry about that, but I've recently lost my internet connection at home... sniff.

Remember to leave a review for me to munch on! Reviews do sorta inspire me to write more, after all, hee. Till next we meet...!


End file.
